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stephenbrooks.org : parenting skills: deficiencies and delinquency
stephenbrooks.orgForumTalkMallardsparenting skills: deficiencies and delinquency

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Lord Groundhog
2004-10-21 15:21:04


Is it any wonder that ponds, lakes and rivers are becoming overrun with juvenile delinquent ducklings?  All that neglect and apathy just has to lead to hostility and anti-social behaviour ... only in the survivors of course. 

If you or people you know have been mugged by roving gangs of alienated juvenile delinquent ducklings, you can get help.  Share your experience, by writing directly to the charity, "Ducks And Drakes Against Delinquent, Alienated Ducklings", at their website, <coin-coin-coin-hnnnng-DADADAD-hnnnng-uorng>.

And don't forget to support this excellent work by visiting their "donations" page.  Thanks.
Stephen Brooks
2004-10-22 12:03:04
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Groundhog:
Is it any wonder that ponds, lakes and rivers are becoming overrun with juvenile delinquent ducklings? 
If you look at the picture, I think you'll find the sewer is where they mostly end up.  Let's hope none manage to navigate up a U-bend.
Lord Groundhog
2004-10-27 09:28:06
quote:
Originally posted by Stephen Brooks:
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Groundhog:
Is it any wonder that ponds, lakes and rivers are becoming overrun with juvenile delinquent ducklings? 
If you look at the picture, I think you'll find the sewer is where they mostly end up.  Let's hope none manage to navigate up a U-bend. 


You overlooked the important part of what I said: "...only in the survivors of course".

Reminds me of that old joke that begins, "A plane full of passengers crashes exactly on the border of _____ and _____ ..." (pick your preferred two neighbouring countries). 

Oh Stephen, don't tell me you fell for that one the first time you heard it? 
Razz

Anyway, you can believe that when the survivors finally escape the sewers (probably climbing over the corpses of their siblings) they're in a very foul mood.
[DPC]Stephan202
2004-10-27 22:07:28
Stephen my not have fallen for that joke, but Stephan sure did Red Face

Hey, if the plane craches at a border of North Korea, or some cannibalistic country, the survivors may still need to be buried Razz
Stephen Brooks
2004-11-10 13:46:52
What's to say some of the ensewered ducklings wouldn't have survived?  They like damp places and pipes after all.
Lord Groundhog
2004-12-02 03:14:49
quote:
Originally posted by Stephen Brooks:
What's to say some of the ensewered ducklings wouldn't have survived?  They like damp places and pipes after all. 


A: the rats?  They like small, helpless things to eat. 

In any case, my original idea is that what few survivors there are go on to be criminally dysfunctional in society. 

As in:

[scary voice-over: "They've been abandoned as babies, terrorized by things that scuttle in the dark, and then they've watched their siblings die cruel deaths.  Finally, they've escaped.  ..."]

[moderate tempo ominous music, mainly in bass register and consisting mostly of woodwinds played with mutes to create quack-like sounds, in background]

[scary voice-over: "...now they're looking for revenge.  They were tough enough to take on the rats and survive.  They're looking to take it out on someone...]
[ominous music speeds up a little; swells to crescendo]

[screen goes black]

[title screen in stark white Lucida sans serif: "Juvenile Delinquent Killer Ducks"]
[sound-effect to title screen: ominous music speeds up a little more.  The agitated quackings of young ducklings reduces to the sound of just one.  That lone shrill quack transforms into a human scream, which is joined by the sound of other human screams and they all become almost unbearably louder.  Suddenly, these screams are all silenced.]
[Simultaneous with silencing the screams, turn off title-screen to leave only black screen]
[music remains in background, gradually slowing down to original tempo]

[scary voice-over: "Don't let your kids play in the park"]
[fade music out]
[scary voice-over: "Rated R - children under 16 not allowed in unless accompanied by an adult"]
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